Someone I care very much about spoke to me today about the power of words. How we can make or break a person’s day with words. How, like a magical power, we can change a person course of events with just words.
Its mad, if you think about, how life can change in so any ways when words are spoken.
Like the words that are chosen to speak about the pandemic for example. Words that have been spoken by leaders on all levels, have caused people fear and panic.
Words deliberately chosen at times to make people think the worst and react in a certain way.
There are other ways words can change people’s lives…
I don’t love you anymore
I hate you
I’m sorry, she won’t get better
I don’t want to talk to you anymore
Tiny little sentences can stop a person in their tracks. Can cause someone years of mental health. Crush someone and make them doubt who they are.
You have done it for sure. Said something that broke someone. I guarantee it. You may have said it and not realised the impact. You may have said every word with intent and wanted to cause maximum pain. Maybe its somewhere in between. But you have.
And right now you are thinking of that moment. You and that person. As you said the words that hurt them.
I can also guarantee you have also been on the receiving end of words aimed to harm. It won’t take much to remember them. The worst thing that has ever been said to you has jumped into your mind and you are thinking of it right now. They will replay in your mind in an instant. Because you have played them yourself over and over a million times. The person who said the words may never know how bad they got you either.
Our words can be very powerful. And we need to be mindful of that.
This week has been a crazy week for me. A week of words with impact.
I’m sorry
I hear you
I accept that
I want you to come home for Christmas
Words. Short little sentences, can change everything.
I love you
To truly have an impact, whether they are good or bad words, they need to be real. Need to have meaning. You need to know yourself that you mean those words.
Me personally, I very rarely say anything that I don’t mean. It’s not so much I think before I speak, its more that I speak truthful words so If I have said anything to you…. good or bad….it would have come for a very real place.
I learnt this week that it’s not just about speaking the right words. It’s also about listening to the words of others. Really listening.
I wanted to be saved
I felt guilty
I was scared
I didn’t know how
It’s about hearing a person’s words and acknowledging them. You don’t have to agree with them for sure. But by not acknowledging a person’s words almost tells them that they are not important. That you don’t really care what they think and feel. And no one wants to feel like that.
Of course, there are times in all our lives that we can’t hear other propels words. We may be too angry, too sad, too proud. In some cases, there may be consequences in that. The person may pull away, may say unkind things back, may not answer your messages for months and months. There are consequences to how we use and treat words.
But the most important words we use are the ones we use on ourselves. Our inner voice. The dialogue that takes place where we can either make or break ourselves.
How many times do we use unkind words on ourselves?
I’m too fat/skinny
I’m so stupid
I’m a rubbish parent
I can’t do that
We use that same brutal tongue that we used to scare others on ourselves. Self-harm on the mental kind. We can be so cruel to ourselves. I know I have. I have said some truly hateful things to myself over the years
It’s your fault
You should have left
You should have run
No one wants used goods
No one really cares about you
It makes me sad that when, at times, it felt as if the whole world was giving me a beating, I joined in with them. Causing bruising and pain from within to match that which existed on my physical body.
But, like all yin and yang, there has to be light. Since the start of lockdown I have started to change the language I use when speaking to myself
It’s Ok
You tried your best
Look how far you have come
And the most important line
Your safe now Blondy
And now I have the capacity to say these things to myself, I find myself, like my cousin said to me this morning, almost as if I can cast spells and change lives
My words have created new starts and have soothes old wounds. My words have given praise and encouragement, made others feel safe.
I said to my cousin today that no matter what 2021 brings, we will be fine as you know who you are. As long as you keep grounded. And I really believe that.
I know who I am. I can cut with my words and will continue to do so when necessary. Please or offend. But only in a professional capacity (Or when sounding off to my mandem). My job is to protect children, so if I need to use curt words to put people in check to ensure children are protected then I will.
But I now also fully understand the power of my words, and I will be mindful of how I use them.
On others and also myself.
So, all I want you to do is say something kind to yourself right now. With that little inner voice that has been speaking as you read this.
Go on then….
And then I want you to say it out loud. Twice. Into the universe.
I will go first
I am proud of who I have become
I am proud of who I have become
I am proud of who I have become