Bianca Boyce and Me- Laying Foundations.
I am in transition. If I was a website and you clicked on me, a page would come up saying “Under construction”. Or, if you want to be more romantic about it, I’m in a chrysalis, transforming into something amazing.
The fact that I even recognise that is massive for me. It means that its time. Time to be the person I am supposed to be. I have been through transitions before, like many of us. We are born to be what ever we want and then life kicks in in different ways at different times, shaping and changing us. Some people’s changes are like when the tide comes in and moves the sand into stunning patters, twisting, and turning until the sea pulls away and the sand is smooth again. For some of us, it’s like the sea that wants to change us is cold and salty, beating against us until it carves its swirls into us, leaving scars, like you see on rocks that have been battered by the sea and then withdraws, leaving scaring and damaged to what should be a solid structure. There is only so many times a rock can take that until it starts to crumble….
Lots of transitions have taken place for me but I guess the key ones would be:
Birth of children
Of course, there is a lot that takes place between this. But these are the life changing moments that carved me out. They don’t define me. But they changed me and with that changed my core values.
That last one, my mum dying, was a transition that happened so quick and so hard that I was left spinning in the longest time. Just standing there, in shock I guess, for years and years. Not sure if I should move on. Not sure if I should stay still. Either was fine if I didn’t have to go through that pain again. In my head, that transition and what followed from it, the 7 years after, was like a beating from life. It’s the only way I can explain it. Its like for 8 years, from the point she died, I stepped into boxing ring whilst life (And people) took their best shots at me. And they got some good right hooks in to be fair. There were a few times it looked like I could be down and out. There was even this one time I wanted to tap out. I have neve had to fight so hard for so long. Something like that changes a person, I think.
Since lockdown, things have been different. I have had the space and time to think. To rest……dare I say. To breath. I have known for a while a change was gonna come. I also know I need help to find my way.
A lot has happened for me in the past 55 days. I have been on a journey like no other. I have had to readjust my sails and brace for a new storm. But…when I stopped screwing my eyes shut, waiting to be hit by the first wave…I opened my eyes a time but and realised the water was not choppy. Yes, it was a bit bumpy. That’s to be expected, but not thunder and lighting and waves trying to tip me over.
A few days into all of this new journey, I was listening to a live chat one of my friends was doing, talking about the pandemic, and this lady stated talking. I was decorating (all part of the change) and as she spoke, I found myself nodding away to her comments. She said this one thing and I actually answered her out loud in agreement. So, I stopped painting and thought, let me see who this is now.
I saw that her name was Bianca Boyce and when I clicked on her Instagram profile it said, “Life coach”. I just put my phone down and carried on with my stuff. Life coach…that’s not for me. “That’s for people who are going places and making change” I muttered to myself. 20 minutes later I was standing in my living room with my phone in one hand, other hand on my hip, just staring at the phone. Because the things Bianca was saying about life where still ringing in my ears and I found myself thinking… “But…Am I not someone who is going places?”
So, I text her. Hi…err…. not sure if I know what I am doing but I would like to hear about what you do.
It felt so alien to me, reaching out to someone asking for help in this way. More than that….me acknowledging that I needed help AND being able to respond to that instead of pushing it away…… Bianca responded with a voice note and from that moment it was done, I knew from that point that this was the person I needed to help me move forward. She spoke openly and honestly about the work she did and what that looked like. No nonsense no sales pitch just “Alright love…this is what I can do for you”.
If you know me, you will know that life coaching or anything where I have to explore myself is not something I like to do. Not at all. But like I said…. Its time
I’m not sure how to explain what has taken place between myself and Bianca other than everyone reading this needs to work with her. For me personally, it feels like a genuine connection. We spoke and found that we have a lot in common, in both background and mindset. I’m not even going to try and explain what Bianca does It would not do it justice), but the sessions I completed with her were Value Elicitation, looking at Idealistic Elicitation, Operational Elicitation and Core Elicitation.
Bianca explained that understanding your core values enable you to excel. How traits we may not even know we have hindered us in life. It’s about seeing repeating patterns in work life, home life, relationships and doing something to try and understand why. It’s a way of gaining a better understanding of the values that really drive you and keep you motivated.
Bianca said that when you know what your values are you can take full control of your life and ensure that the decisions you make take them into account, because if you don’t, you keep making the same mistakes. Finding yourself in the same situations, wondering why nothing ever changes.
When Bianca explained all this to me, I’m not gonna lie, I was not completely sure if I understood what it was, we would be doing. But I knew that the if anyone was going to help me to break old patterns and move forward, it would be Bianca.
And so, our journey began.
3 sessions over 3 weeks. And the things that took place between each session…well…. I don’t even know where to start.
The first session was us talking about what my dreams and goals were. We spoke for ages, with lots of laughing and catching jokes, talking about my plans for the future and what my perfect day would look like. Bianca asked me to be open and honest and I was. Completely. No ego. No hiding. I’m done with all of that. I just told Bianca the raw truth. The second session was hard. We looked at why I stayed in certain situations with certain people. But not just looked, we picked up every single rock and looked under it. Then we picked up the worms under them rocks and looked at them. And then when I thought I could not talk about it anymore, we dug in the dirt under that rock and found those little roots that you find in the ground sometimes. All white and twisty but you don’t really know where they come from or when they are going. Once we were covered in dirt, exhausted and never wanting to look under rocks again Bianca made me get all the rocks and chuck them away. Leaving me feeling very exposed…but also very free.
The last session was about exploring what actually makes me…me. The real me. The core of me. Once again, she worked me hard. Making me question things and evaluate things I didn’t want to. I had a bit of a melt down when we had to talk about me giving up freedom or trust (You will see), but we got there in the end.
Over the 3-week programme, I could feel the shift in me. Like…. fog being cleared from in front me. Bianca helped me to understand why I attract people with narcist behaviour. You helped me understand why I find comfort in chaos. She helped me to see that I aim to low in all aspects of my life.
Bianca helped me to understand me. Warts and all. We didn’t shy away from a single thing, even when she could see that I would happily ignore stuff.
On our second session, Bianca could see I was struggling, and she suggested something, she said I needed to sit with the little girl I was and write a letter. She needs to wite a letter to me, explaining what she needed growing up and what she needs from me now. Bianca had no idea I was planning to go home when she said that, and it made me shudder when she did, knowing the next day I would be going back to the place where that little girl was. Bianca is the main reason I decided to bring that little girl home with me instead of leaving her in the past. (You should read THIS blog for that to make sense)
Bianca may be a witch (A good witch of course) …the jury is still out on that one…but if she is not a witch then I can honestly say she is one of the most amazing humans I have ever had the privilege of sharing energy with. Nothing was too much, and nothing felt wasted or pointless.
I have left Bianca a different person. I feel ready to grow up. It’s the only way I can explain it. Its like I have been given a free past to take off the heaviness of my past, put it down, shake it off, and go and be the person I should have been before life decided to give me a kick in. Over and over again.
I don’t really big people up, you all know this, but if you are ready for change, if you are ready to become a leader and if you are ready to become the person you were born to be…. Then contact Bianca Boyce…. end of.
Me, I’m about to step out. You’re going to see some epic things from me over the next few months. I am walking different, holding myself different. I like myself
I like myself. I am good enough and I am trying my best.
I have boundaries and values and if you can’t respect and uphold them…then I am sorry…. but we have no business here my friend.
One of my 5 core values turned out to be freedom. I would never have said that in a million years. Never. But it is. It trumped many other values that I thought were at the heart of who I am. When Bianca even suggested that I could not have freedom as a core value, just with her words, my body physically reacted. Panic. Then resistance.
Freedom…. funny how it has turned out to be at the core of who I am when I have lived with very little freedom for most of my life… Not now. Not anymore.
Bianca Boyce…it’s been emotional……
About Bianca –
I am a firm believer that the results that we see in our lives are based on the way that we think, feel and act.
I also know and believe there is a solution to overcoming all challenges and barriers if we care enough to seek, find, and execute it.
I know from personal experience that most people including myself at one point were conditioned to believe that life is dictated by things that are out of our control. I also know from personal experience that this is false information.
I live my life on my terms, I do only the things I love to do, and I have so much fun along the way.
I decided 4 years ago that I would no longer do things that I did not want to do in my professional and personal life and I have stuck to my decision ever since.
It is my life mission to help as many men and women as I can to do the same.
HOW I WORK
To sum up how I work, I take my clients seemingly complex situations and simplify them by providing practical tools, tips and guidance which creates a multitude of viable solutions to aid them with achieving their goals.
Most coaches have one niche area, I don`t! Although overall, I work with business owners, leaders and aspiring entrepreneurs, the areas that are covered with each client varies.
Although the overarching goal may be to increase sales, generate leads or increase the productivity of your team, which are career goals, quite often I also work with you on your confidence and self-belief which are personal development goals, as one effects the other.
You see those of you that have experienced coaching and those that are about to make that choice will know or find out that when you improve one area of your life it has a direct link to other areas.
To live a totally fulfilling life you want to achieve your business goals, have optimum confidence and self-belief, whilst living your ideal lifestyle with a balance that is ideal for you.
My style of coaching is the perfect fit for someone that is looking to achieve a totally fulfilling life.
I am convinced that you have arrived here because you are ready to do what it takes to make a significant improvement to your life which is great!!
It is important to note at this point, that for coaching to be effective, your commitment is paramount.
Coaching, unlike some other interventions, is an equal partnership.
I manage the coaching programme and you manage your actions. I guess you could liken it to football coaching, the coach can provide the best tools and advice in the world, but if the player does not get on the pitch, the coaching is ineffective.
However, when you have a great coach and a player that is ready and willing to do what it takes, well that is a complete game changer!
The clients I work with report on increased confidence, productivity, self-belief and clarity on what they want from life. My speciality is helping clients transform their lives from how it is now to how they would love it to be. I am looking forward to scoring many wins with you.
Contact for Bianca: