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“Our culture is so punishing towards women. We champion a man who speaks up, but we will absolutely

“Our culture is so punishing towards women. We champion a man who speaks up, but we will absolutely destroy a woman for it” Jameela Jamil

The past 10 days it’s like things have come to head in terms of the injustice women face. International women’s day has brought so many people together to talk about the injustice and the silencing of women.

I was blessed yesterday to be able to listen to some epic women speak. Women who all had the same message, we are being punished for our womanhood. We are treated differently because we are women.

The panel of women talking were Clare Ward-QC, Audrey Cherryl Morgan, Cyntoia Brown-Long, Kate Paradine, Dr Laura Janes, Leigh-Anne Rodriguez, Pippa Goodfellow and Sandra Paul. The title of the panel was International Women’s Day: Ending Injustice for Girls and Young Women in the Criminal Justice System.

I popped my earphones in, slipped my phone in my pocket and planned to listen to the women talking whilst doing my chores for the evening. Within 10 minutes I was sat in my living room, phone in hand, whilst these women spoke and held my fullest attention. I have made so many notes and could write down so many things that these women said last night but have decide to just highlight one out of so many:

Dr Laura Jones, Legal director of The Howard League stated that it is still legal in 2021 that Women can be remanded for their own protection, the courts can send to prison for their own protection. That can be seen as a place as safety.

A woman can be placed in remand if they believe that it is for her own safety. . That one…that cut me deep.

I came out of this talk to see that a group chat I am part of with some awesome women was on fire. They were talking about an event that is taking place this Saturday in Clapham common #RECLAIM THESE STREETS: a vigil for all women threatened on our streets.  The link for this event is HERE. Please make sure you share.

On the group chat you could feel the anger and frustration that we even must host these kinds of vigils just so we can be safe to walk around …because of the threat that is posed to us as women.

By men.


Then, on the news, there is the horrific news that human remains have been found and believed to be linked to Sarah Everard. A policeman has been arrested in connection with her murder. Another life taken…. but then again, as a good friend said last night…. Women are killed by men every 3 days.

Every 3 days a woman loses her life because of a man. In 2021. The UK published its first census for women in 2020 and some of the findings included :

  1. Six women are killed every hour by men around the world, most by men in their own family or their partners.

  2. A new report shows that in the UK a woman is killed by a man every three days.

The World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report 2020 found that between a fifth and nearly a half of women globally suffer physical or sexual abuse from their male partners. The Middle East and North Africa has the highest rate with 45% of women being harmed.

“Men’s violence against women is a leading cause of the premature death for women globally but research in the UK and Europe is limited and unconnected,” said Karen Ingala Smith, co-founder of the Femicide Census.

Educated women like Karen are speaking out…saying it with their chest……and still women continue to die.

Then… this morning I have watched the clip below. Where a domestic abuse suspect was arrested during the hearing as it was found that he was in the same flat as the women he was abusing!!!! The hearing was going on and the man had placed himself in the fault with her whilst she was giving evidence!

Now, I am hoping that made you feel cold inside as it did me. But I also aw comments, some from women saying.

“Why did she allow him back in the house”.


Are we still blaming the victim of domestic abuse in 2021? Are other women still blaming other women for domestic abuse in 2021.

When women speak out, we are seen as troublemakers and a lot of effort is put into making us silent. A lot of suggestions are made around the state of a women’s mental health when she speaks out and a lot of conversation will be around her motive for saying whatever it is, she is saying.

Men do not get treated in the same way. I am not saying all men or never. But from what I can see, men would never be silenced in the same way as women.

To be clear, this is not me bashing men. I like men. I raised two of the most respectful and beautiful men you will ever meet. But they are not blind to the injustice of women and they are not compliant with the discrimination and victim blaming of women. I hope we all raise our sons like this.

At the moment, there are certain parts of my life where my women hood is being used against me. My role as a single mother is being used against me. And I feel like I could lose my voice unless I amplify it. And by amplifying my voice, I run the risk of being looked at as a troublemaker.

So, it is time we all become each other’s allies. That we form groups and host more meetings. That we find platforms and help each other to find our voice. Look at the above…look at what is happening to the women of the world that I recorded in a 3-hour time slot. 3 hours of my day I was bombarded with the abuse and injustice women face.

I’m not saying anything new or anything that many people don’t know. But I cant just hold it in day after day. I feel like I will explode.

So…. let us roar. Shout. Speak calmly and look people in the eye …. whatever it takes to ensure we are all doing something to stop the oppression of girls and women. To highlight the abuse and murders that ae taking place. Stand together so we can reclaim our own bloody streets!!!!!

As for me, I plan to take back my voice in the place it has been lost. Because I would never want my daughter to be treated the way I am….so…. I better do something about it.

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